


Not the right time

by lasersheith



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 21:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13326456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasersheith/pseuds/lasersheith
Summary: From the wonderful leosunderground on tumblr: Hi! For your fic request: Sheith and "It is always not the right time for us, isn't it?"They've had so many chances to tell each other how they feel, but for Shiro and Keith it just never seems to be the right time.





	Not the right time

Shiro slumped down onto his bed, dropping the damp towel he’d just used to dry his hair over the edge.  _ Shirogane, we want you to teach Advanced Flight Mechanics for the year 3 fighter pilot class while Dr. Singh is out on maternity leave after midterms.  _ Iverson’s voice echoed in his head. He’d accepted the position immediately, with enthusiasm. It was a big honor to be entrusted with a teaching a class, even if it was only temporarily. 

  
There was one big problem though, a problem with a capital K. 

 

Giving up on sleep for the time being, he pulled out his phone and opened the camera roll. Nearly all of his recent pictures were either Keith or the two of them together. He paused at one in particular: Keith smiling warmly at the camera from a blanket laid out across the sand. That had been just a week ago. 

 

He'd planned on telling Keith about his feelings during their picnic on the cliffs, but he'd lost his nerve. Now he was a little grateful for the uncharacteristic bout of cowardice, he was going to be Keith's instructor for half a semester and didn't want to put either of them in a compromising situation. 

 

It just wasn't the right time is all, he'd wait until the end of the semester, tell Iverson teaching wasn't for him and that would be that. 

 

…

 

Keith had been less than thrilled to have Shiro as an instructor, even if he was a very gifted teacher. It had caused a strange rift in their long time friendship because Shiro was so worried about anything looking inappropriate. He had a point, Keith supposed, they could both get in a lot of trouble if anyone thought Shiro was giving him an unfair advantage. Luckily, the semester was almost over and things could go back to the way they were. 

 

The door squealed open behind him and Keith hastily tossed his contraband cigarette over the edge of the roof. Whoever it was would be able to smell it for sure, so Keith went for nonchalance as he continued leaning against the railing without turning around. 

 

Shrio knocked their shoulders together as he joined Keith on the railing. “Smoking's 4 demerits, cadet.” He said playfully. Keith rolled his eyes and pulled another out of his jacket. He offered the pack to Shiro, who hesitated a moment before grabbing one himself. “What gives? You never smoke.” Keith asked, holding his lighter out for Shiro. 

 

“Yeah. I uh…” Shiro took a drag and looked up at the night sky. “Anders didn't get the Kerberos mission. I did.” He turned back to Keith, giant grins breaking out on both of their faces. Keith threw his arms around Shiro's neck in a tight hug. 

 

“That's amazing, Shiro! I'm so happy for you!” Shiro held him close for just a beat too long before stepping back. “Thanks, I'm so excited. This is… the whole reason I joined the Garrison in the first place.” They both leaned against the railing again for a few moments, tossing their spent cigarettes over the edge as they finished. “It's a long mission, though.” Shiro said, staring at the ground several stories below. His voice was barely above a whisper. 

 

Keith nodded. “How long?” Shiro's boots scuffed against the dirty tile. “9 months, maybe a year.” A year. Keith crossed his arms. That was a long time. Shiro had been on several 6 and 8  _ week _ long missions since they'd been friends, but he'd been allowed to send emails every few days and the time had gone by before they knew it. A year would be… fine. It had to be. It was Shiro's dream. 

 

“Well, when you get back you're gonna have to throw me a graduation party.” Keith knocked his elbow into Shiro's. “And I'm gonna take advantage of you being gone so I can crush your sim scores and you won't have a chance to fight back.” Shiro laughed and playfully shoved his arm. “Well we aren't leaving for 3 months, so I'm not going to make it easy for you. I'm breaking at least 4 of my old records before I go.” It was Keith's turn to laugh at that. “Yeah, we'll see.” He teased. 

 

They stood in companionable silence for a while, both staring up at the stars. Shiro risked a glance in Keith's direction and tried to will his fluttering heart to even out. Keith had no idea how breathtaking he was, especially bathed in starlight with the wind softly blowing his increasingly non-regulation hair. He must have felt Shiro's eyes on him, because he turned and offered Shiro a small, private smile he couldn't help but return. 

 

It was probably one of the most romantic spots Shiro could think of for a love confession, but with him leaving for so long, so soon… it just wasn't the right time. They'd have all the time in the world when he got back. 

 

..

 

Shiro's bleary eyes had struggled open slowly at first, and then he'd shot up, hands in a defensive position. The room around him was dim and dusty, but it clearly wasn’t a cell or a lab. Under the smell of dust, there was the faint aroma of evergreen and something… familiar. None of the rot or blood or decay of the places he’d been for the last year. Nor was it the stagnant smell of recycled air on a ship. He lowered his hands and stood up from the bed, taking everything in. 

 

A stirring in the corner caught his attention and he wheeled around, ready to fight if the need arose. Keith had been sleeping on a chair next to the bed and approached him cautiously. “Shiro? Are you ok?” He whispered. Shiro stopped and blinked at him for a moment. “Keith?” 

 

Keith had slowly walked into arm’s reach and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s me. You’re ok. You’re back.” Tears welled in his eyes and he pulled Keith into his chest almost without thinking. He buried his nose in Keith’s hair and inhaled deeply, the familiar scent of his shampoo soothing in a tangible way that the sight of him alone hadn’t been. He might have been embarrassed about the bone-crushing hug if Keith hadn’t been holding on to him just as tightly. They sat in silence for a moment, just holding on, listening to the sound of each other’s breath- whether to prove that it was really happening or to savor it neither of them could say. 

 

Shiro finally stepped back and held Keith by the shoulders, eyes roving over every part of him. “I’m so glad you’re ok.” He said, the words coming out raw and breathless. “Me? You’re the one that disappeared in space for a year.” Keith’s smile could have outshined the sun, but his words had Shiro’s head reeling. A year… he’d been gone a year? Somewhere… bad. He took a step back and shook his head. Keith’s smile faded into a frown as he watched Shiro war with his own mind. 

 

“What’s going on, Shiro? Talk to me.” Keith’s concern was palpable but there was so much Shiro needed to say he was quickly becoming overwhelmed. The small room might once have felt cozy, but now it was stifling. Thoughts were swarming around his mind too quickly to articulate, the only thing clear in all of the haze was, “I just need some air, I think.” Keith nodded and opened the door to the stairway for him. 

 

Taking the stairs two at a time, Shiro walked as quickly as he could without running directly out of the small house, ignoring the three sleeping strangers in the living room. The sun was just beginning to rise over the hills, painting the surrounding desert in soft pinks and oranges. It should have been beautiful, but his mind was racing too much to appreciate it. 

 

He stared down at his right arm. He couldn’t even remember how he’d lost the original, or how he’d come to get this replacement. The servos whirred as he turned it over to inspect it. The soft footsteps trailing behind him brought another thought to the front of his mind. He’d been planning on telling Keith how he felt as soon as he’d gotten back, but he couldn’t now. Too much had happened, he needed time to unpack it all before he burdened Keith with anything. Soon, though, he decided. Now just wasn’t the right time. He clenched his arm and brought it up to his chest just as a soft hand landed on his shoulder. 

 

“It’s good to have you back.” The smile that outshone the sun had returned and Shiro couldn’t help but answer in kind. “It’s good to be back.” 

 

..

 

It was a good plan, Zarkon wouldn’t know what hit him, Voltron would strike him down and the war would be over. There would be plenty of time after they were done for all of the million things he wanted to tell Keith. The way his rare smiles lit up Shiro’s heart. The way his stomach did backflips every time Keith put a hand on his shoulder. The way his heart soared every time he got to hold Keith in arms. There were so many things Shiro wanted to tell him. 

 

If Keith wanted to scour the universe looking for his mother, Shiro would be right there beside him. If he wanted to go home and live a quiet life in the desert when they were done, Shiro was fine with that, too. No matter what the future held, Shiro made one more resolution: When this fight with Zarkon was over, he’d tell Keith how he felt. It had been too long, he’d put it off too many times. He owed this to Keith. He couldn’t back out again. 

 

Going into a fight with Shiro’s feelings hanging over his head would only hurt Keith’s focus, so he knew he had to be patient, just a little longer. He squeezed Keith’s shoulder as they finished putting their paladin armor on. “When this is over, I have something important I need to talk to you about, ok?” He said with a smile. Keith would surely remind him, so there wouldn’t be a way for him to back out afterwards. Keith raised an eyebrow but returned the smile. “If it’s so important, why not just tell me now?” 

 

Shiro chuckled a little. “It’s just… not the right time right now, is all. Once we kick Zarkon’s ass, then we’ll talk, ok?” Keith gave him a knowing smile and nodded in response. “Ok, I’m gonna hold you to that.” Shiro nodded back. They both headed for the hangars, preparing for the fight of their lives. 

 

..

 

Shiro looked like a wounded, feral animal every time Keith saw him lately. It had been days since he'd been rescued and healed in the cryopod and he still couldn't manage to get out of bed. He'd been through a lot, Keith knew, more than he deserved for certain, so the team was more than happy to let him rest and collect himself.

 

Keith spent as much time as he could spare at Shiro's bedside. They had talked through everything more times than either of them could count and still had no answers. It was difficult and more than a little confusing, but at least Shiro was here. He was back. Keith finally felt like he could breathe again. 

 

It probably wasn't the best timing, Shiro still recovering and all, but Keith had to know. He sat down on the bed next to him and put his right hand gently on top of Shiro's left. “Shiro… before we fought Zarkon, you said there was something important you were going to tell me.” Keith said quietly. Shiro looked up at him, his eyes were glassy and unfocused. He shook his head and blinked a few times. 

 

“What did I say?” He answered, looked down at the bed instead of meeting Keith's eyes. Keith frowned. “Just that before the fight wasn't the right time, but it was important.” Shiro clenched his jaw and squeezed his right hand into a fist. “I'm sorry, Keith. I don't remember.” Keith smiled sadly. 

 

He pulled Shiro into a sideways hug and rested his cheek on top of Shiro's head. “It's ok. You're back now. You're here and you're safe and that's what matters. That's enough.” Shiro exhaled a shaky breath at Keith’s candid words. Tears slid down his cheeks unbidden, only to be soaked up by Keith's soft t-shirt. “Thanks,” Shiro's reply came out more a whisper than a statement, but Keith gently squeezed his shoulder in acknowledgment so Shiro was sure he heard. 

 

“You seem really tired, do you want me to get out of here so you can get some sleep?” Keith murmured into Shiro's too-long hair. “Yeah, if you don't mind. I could use the rest.” Came Shiro's quiet reply. Keith extracted himself from the bed carefully, jostling Shiro as little as possible as he made his way to the door. He looked back as he passed through and Shiro already looked fast asleep. 

 

With a soft click, the door slid into place and Keith rested his forehead on it. He wanted to cry, or scream, or break something. They had been so close to finally naming this thing that had been there between them all this time. But he couldn't expect anything from Shiro right now, not with how he was hurting, he needed to focus on getting better. Maybe his memory would return in bits and pieces like last time. Keith just had to hope that memory was one of them. 

 

Keith sighed. He stood back from the door and placed his hand in the middle of it, wishing it was Shiro instead of cold, Altean metal. _When he's not my instructor, when he's back from Kerberos, once we defeat Zarkon, once he's back on his feet again… I wonder what it'll be next. It's always not the right time for us, isn't it?_


End file.
